nia-passion-2014(April 2014)

The fourth element of Elements of life:
12 bridges back to you.

“Courage isn’t the absence of fear, but the understanding that something else is more important.”
— Ambrose Redmoon

These past 7 months have been incredibly revealing for me.  My 15 year old daughter, Sienna, has been doing her sophomore year of high school in Italy.  It’s the first time in 25 years I’ve had no children in my house. Yes it’s a little liberating: I can sleep in every morning rather than rising at 6 am, fixing her breakfast and getting her to school at 7 am. No play rehearsal, cheer practice or social gatherings to shuttle her back and forth to.  1/2 the laundry load. Twice the food supply.  Although it’s easy to see the restfulness this little “holiday” offers, I’m sure most of you would instinctively know that it also creates a big hole both in my day and in my heart.  I miss her like crazy!!  I expected that.  What I didn’t expect was that along with all that rest would come a deep-seated unrest: Who am I separate from being a mom?

Having to face who I am and what I do, aside from loving and raising my children, I realized I wasn’t very fulfilled. There’s so much more I want to contribute to this planet.  Now that may not seem like a big deal to you but to me it’s absolutely terrifying and electrifyingly exciting all at the same time.  You see, I’ve been doing the same thing for most of my adult life: working in the entertainment industry.  And I was able to label it as “fulfilling” because I am an artist making a living at my “art.” That may have been true at the beginning of my career, but believe me, over the years it’s really become the exercising of a skill rather than an artistic expression.  Slowly but surely my “contribution” dwindled down to showing up on set on time and completing my scene with ease and effortlessness.  Something has to change.

The obvious question one might ask herself is, “What am I going to do about it?”  But I’m saying, the more powerful question is “Am I going to do something about it??”  Why? Because the “what” will reveal it’s self in bits and pieces once I commit myself to the change.  That takes courage. Committing one’s self to anything without guarantees is terrifying.  But like the quotes says,

“Courage isn’t the absence of fear, but the judgment that something else is more important.
— Ambrose Redmoon

 My living a fulfilled life, contributing all of me to this world, to my family and my friends is definitely more important than the fear of the unknown.

 Is there something you’re afraid of?

Ask yourself: What’s more important?

And I bet you’ll find the COURAGE.

nias-signature

 

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